So for people who don't sew, you probably are not familiar with sewing patterns. Traditionally, the way you picked them out was to go down to the fabric store where you would find a section of the store with some tables with these big catalog books. The books are put out by each company and have pictures of each of the patterns that are currently in print. You leafed through, found something you wanted, noted the number, and found the corresponding pattern in the filing cabinets full of the actual pattern.
What was always amusing to me about this system was the blatant knockoffs of whatever big movie came out that year. Simplicity is not the only offender, but they're the ones that stick in my mind the most. There's just something about the lazy level of obfuscation in selling what is clearly based on the Lord of the Rings but scrawling "QUEST FOR THE RING" or something across the page. They also have a somewhat more sneaky approach by having the main picture be something generic, but then showing you how a simple change of colors can make it into a beloved film character.
Oh look, you can be I guess Jacob Marley or some Victorian creepster or oh wait, is that Willy Wonka from the terrible film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Nah, couldn't be.
Also amusing: as of this writing they still make their Totally Not The Matrix pattern.
So now that I mostly buy vintage patterns at thrift stores/am trying to move away from printed patterns/have the internet I don't go down to the pattern section, or indeed even the fabric store, that much any more. But I remember a particular incident from my college years. I was leafing through the pattern books at Wal-Mart as I was wont to do, and I came across this gem:
It looks like a generic fantasy costume, but I assure you that this and the dude version are very specifically billed as "Warriors in Cyberspace." That's right, these are World of Warcraft knockoff costume patterns.
However, unlike Totally Not The Matrix and It Isn't the Joker You Guys plus bonus Not the Riddler, they don't still make this pattern. It was available for a little while, and then it was taken off the market. The Simplicity catalogs at the time all had the same page ripped out. I can't find any info on what became of Simplicty 4088 or whatever number the men's version was. It's just gone. I can only assume Blizzard made some kind of copyright claim.
A Preamble to a Very Long List Indeed
5 months ago